The Longing

There are some days where the world is dreadfully quiet.

Even the screeching sound of a train on its track seems so external that it doesn’t impact the emptiness inside your mind.

Everyone seems busy — except for you. And, as you stare blankly into your shoes you decide it’s best you make a move.

You glean at your smartphone’s screen. As you watch the time ticking and tocking, slowly knocking from one side to another, it feels like it’s never moved slower.

Suddenly, a bullet shoots right through your chest.

You look down to check your breast for blood, but there’s no sign of a crime.

At least not one of human design.

You look up to see if anyone might have witnessed what happened. However, as your eyes gloss over the many faces of humanity, no longer certain of your sanity, things take a turn for the worse as everything blurs into a single word. The culprit behind the bullet…

Loneliness.

Your brain takes a step back. It waits for this sensation to subside. To drift back into the past just like every feeling that’s ever come before it.

But it lingers.

It dampens slightly, though it doesn’t falter. It accompanies you to every meeting that day. Into the lunchbreak you really shouldn’t be taking. To the house in which you are cohabitating. And still, you feel alone.

Of course, it’s inescapable: We are alone.

We will die alone. And in every waking moment spent on this planet, attempting to align our opinion with the world’s, we know that we are separate.

Divided and yet united. Different and yet the same. We play a game that has no name — but life. We live in strife.

We live each day, with a deep-seeded desire to give up.

To tear away the skin of individuality and lay down next to our kin. ‘Tis a sin to say that I am not you and we are not they and yet that is how this game is played…so they say.

The further apart we stay, the more it appears we fade away.

The less we keep our distance, the more certain we become of our existence.

Of the need for persistence in the face of resistance.

Of the purpose of yearning…

To become who we are. Give into the stars and play the guitar whose music loops from Jupiter to Mars. It’s not far when you think of the universe at large.

I say it’s OK to say that I’m feeling lonely today. It’s OK to say that I can’t stand another day. When I’m not with you, it turns my heart blue and I’m not so sure I can do this without you.

Because I am you. And you are me. To live this life happily, I pray you say you’ll stand right here…beside me.

Knowingly.

Caringly.

Unashamedly yours,

…George.